last day in jersey.
tonight i’ll be flying to london and tomorrow morning back to cold hannover and to the flat that, even though it’s not really small, feels claustrophobic to me.

now that summer is gone i regret having done everything wrong in germany.
i could have gone out for walks more often. should have taken my camera to eilenriede once more, as it’s just 3 blocks away from out flat. should have left the room, the computer to go out and buy fresh wild mushrooms from the street markets, should have taken photos of the coloured fruit and vegetables stalls, the flowers for sale in artisanal ceramic pots. should have watched more german tv, even if i couldn’t understand a thing, and learnt to swear in goethe’s language, eaten more sauerkraut, seen more, enjoyed more instead of just sleeping-browsing-eating-shopping.

i was too busy complaining about the situation to pay attention to germany and be grateful for the chances it gave me. the business chances to the british boy. the chance to finally bring my cat here. the chance of being able to live in a different country, immerse in another culture that, if not so appealing to me, had so much to teach me; and i feel i’ve learned so little.

but i still have three months. when it will probably be colder than the coldest i have experienced in my life, the snow will cover the streets and roofs, the christmas markets will make me put on weight and my december 25 will be white.
if i can’t be grateful for that, than i’m a professional stupid.
*runs to h&m to stock up on coloured woollen gloves*

yesterday, saying goodbye to the island (that is starting to get ready for winter):

because cats are not vegetarians:

see ya in january/rebruary, island.

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